Motivational Speaker, Personal Coaching and Tools To Tackle Anxiety, Panic and Fear When Nothing Else Works
One of the greatest antidote to fear is your inner self. How well you know and can rely on yourself is a direct correlation to how quickly you recover when startled, stay calm over ice and “put fear on the shelf.”
This meditation is a practice of self-exploration.
Let me know how it goes for you and let’s discuss how this might work towards a clearer vision of self.
Start the meditation here:
In our second guided meditation in this series, I want to build on what we spoke about yesterday: noting and also showing compassion and curiosity to what shows up.
Start the guided meditation here.
And let me know how it goes for you.
Namaste
January 21, 2018
This first guided meditation is an acknowledgment of my teacher Tara Brach, her words and her methods which are sprinkled throughout my guided meditation.
My initial goal is two-fold: To get you used to a “sit,” quietly for ten minutes a day AND to help you to create a quiet (and safe) clearing in the woods, where you can begin or to continue to see your life more clearly.
Start the Guided Meditation: A Clearing in the Woods
I will be doing a new guided meditation this week for Seven Days. I call this Seven Days Search For Joy. I hope you find it helpful.
This morning I listened to Tara Brach’s podcast on Trust. I’d like to apply her concept of the Portal of Freedom head on. Unless we learn to trust ourselves deeply, we feel separate, sometimes anxious and are limited.
No one us want to live a limited life. I want to get the most out of every moment on Earth. Don’t you? Sure, you do.
And yet, if I told you that all you had to do was “listen to yourself” deeply, you would turn me off and probably continue to look else where for an answer. Frankly, I don’t mind if you turn me off. Just do not turn YOURSELF OFF.
I finished off yesterday in a funk. Without going into why because it does not really matter (I really believe that), I knew my mind had changed state and that I was not in what I’d call my optimistic state of mind. I watched it happen. I was aware that my mind had shifted and was like wow, I’m in a funk, what do I feel, what thoughts are going thru my mind? I literally watched myself in it and thru it – which itself I am quite proud of. Often, we are not aware that we are in a funk until after we pass thru it – but this time, I say my shoulders roll in, I felt a tightening
I was aware that my mind had shifted and was like wow, “I’m in a funk.” I asked myself, “what do I feel, what thoughts are going thru my mind?” I literally watched myself in it and thru it – which itself I am quite proud of (and, no big deal, you probably do this too). Often, we are not aware that we are in a funk until after we pass thru it – but this time, I saw my shoulders roll in, I felt a tightening under my left breast muscle and my neck felt tighter. I even was aware that my mind felt “tight,” what ever that means to you. It is the closest word I can describe. I felt limited, quiet and a bit withdrawn. I could see it actually.
So what did I do to change the state?
Well, first, my meditation practice* which is a practice of listening and watching all thoughts and feelings took note. “Took note?” You wonder?
“Took note?” You wonder?
Yup. When I started an almost everyday meditation practice I thought the goal was stillness but for me it has become more about simply listening and taking inventory, not mere stillness. By being still in my mind and not chasing any one thing, I can see and more accurately listen to tons of thoughts and even listen and feel for feelings. I’m just sitting there saying to myself: “Hello thought coming from the left side,” “Hello feeling in my left shoulder,” etc. etc.
Then, to take up Tara Brach’s observation, I can begin to trust myself. I know that word is a loaded word but really. Once I begin to listen to myself, and not get baited into one or another thought and feeling, I arrive in this place of a big smile.
“A big smile?”
Yes. I caught myself smiling as I just sit there on my internal river bank, watching all of these things flow. I am not one of the things, I am all of them. I am limitless.
And with that, I build these (to borrow a word, I think, from Master Systema Martin Wheeler teacher) “little kernels of confidence).
If you keep an “I Wish Journal” or set your intentions every day, maybe you will envision what it looks like to trust yourself to listen to yourself.
Maybe you’ll envision what that looks like if you could hear everything inside your mind and body.
What would that look like for you?
And how would it feel in your mind? What about how it would feel in your body?
And what would it feel like to trust yourself? Despite all of your quirks?
For me, it is mostly wonderful because I know I control so little. And yet, if I can trust myself and also get better at listening to myself (aka to truly know my gut), how limitless will life be? Wow. Quite.
Have a great day.
Gregory
*If you’d like to chat about my meditation practice or want free help with yours, please just ask.
Check out my other writings on Thrive Journal: https://journal.thriveglobal.com/@garutch
Ps. This takes my other concepts from outside Does Your Mind Search Search for Joy?, to a purely internal search.
pss. Tara Brach reminds us that “Namaste” technically refers to: I see the good ness in you. She suggests we start by seeing the goodness inside our self. For more on Tara Brach
More time must be spent on the tools that help us now. For me, it is belly breathing.
I hear many words like “stuck”, and “sudden onset of uncomfortable feelings”, “anxiety”, “fear” as words that describe being stuck. Your words may not be my words but we may share the feelings.
I want to share something that I have found that has helped me tremendously, and it helps instantly.
Question: Do you have a breathing practice?
Huh? you say?
Well, you wake up, brush your teeth and probably do some exercise, maybe have a yoga and maybe even have started meditation. A practice is something that requires near daily dedication. Say that out loud, daily dedication is a practice.
It takes practice – daily or near daily – to develop a practice. But the pay off is huge. If you learn how to belly breathe, you will tap into your vagus nerve – that runs from behind your neck down your throat and behind your heart and into your belly to bring about physical calming. Google vagus nerve.
Let’s jump right in!
Here is step one of belly breathing. Let me know if this helps you get started.
Do you notice how I use the hand and finger simply as guides?
Does it help you to see what I am trying to do?
Please let me know your thoughts below. Thanks.
Well, Let me tell you a quick story.
Recently I was about to negotiate an agreement and took a moment to see whether I could connect deeply with the person on the other side OR if they would let me connect.
Because they did not want to engage in small talk and quickly desired “to get down to business”, I was reminded to simply listen for what that meant about the agreement I could possibly forge. So after our first session, I went for a run and had an epiphany I’d like to share that may apply universally.
If you don’t list to podcasts, you need to start and listen to this particular one.
This morning on my run, I listened to Krista Tippet’s 2015 interview of Martin Sheen (link).
Yup, the actor. Never expected what I heard but I wished I had heard it before.
He spoke directly to love and joy. It isn’t about religion but it is about spirituality.
For example, he saw himself at a very young age as an actor on the screen.
“I think all children know at a young age something deeply personal about themselves that is hard to communicate…”
But it was what happened from minute 31:00, that made me really think.
Sheen is asked to talk about “love” – and he says:
“Yeah, the love that I longed for, and I think all of us really long for, is knowing that we are loved. A knowingness about our being that unites us to all of humanity, to all of the universe. That despite ourselves, we are loved. And when you realize that, you begin to look at everyone else and you can see very clearly who in your vision knows they’re loved and who does not. And that makes all the difference.
He isn’t talking about being loved by someone else.
In fact, he acknowledges that the love that he has for his wife of decades is deep and real. “I’m deeply loved. I am married to one of the great people I’ve known in my life…”
He is talking about a deep inner love- a knowingness love – that is internal – that is linked to the self that never ages. That inner self that we must cultivate.
I think a “knowingness” of love – of ourselves is learnable.
Here is the complete dialogue below:
I think it is important to note a few elements that Sheen adds to help us on our journey – compassion and being of or in service to others. I agree. In fact, when we look at Buddha’s teachings – empathy comes from being in service to others.
and
Finally, Sheen leads us to one of the purposes of our endeavor – “experiencing true, personal joy.” We all go about getting there a different way but when I listened to Sheen’s own words, his humility, and the awareness that it gave him into his self – I felt awe.
In his own words,
Profound for sure.
If not for joy, then what is it all for. If all we do in life is to teach ourselves to truly know that we are loved AND to find joy (at least more joy than pain), then haven’t we accomplished something truly meaningful for ourselves?
I urge you to listen and to share your comments with me. I’d love to hear from you.
And please subscribe to my blog.
Best,
G
You wake up exhausted again and by 2:30 or 3 pm, you are a bit downtrodden, right?
You have not made any progress on your long list of to-dos and you keep getting caught up in forgetting to do what the others in your life (co-workers, life partners, clients) need you to do first in their list of priorities.
Until, of course you change your mindset.
Rather than end your day with a list of things you gotta do, end your day asking your brain to “search for joy.”
Literally do a bit of self-talk and say “ok, mind that is all powerful and working all the time, go out there into my world and search for joy.” Just try it. It cannot hurt. Science tells us that the brain is task oriented. And if you give it the task to “search for joy” while you sleep, after a few days of this, or even that very first night for some of you, it will find little tidbits of joy.
Upon waking, many successful folks express gratitude for all of the great things they have in their lives, the people, the feelings, their health. Well, I also use this opportunity – those first waking moments to ask my brain “today, search for joy.”
The results for me include:
My goal is simple: If I can experience some joy today, and tomorrow, and the next day, then my life is linked by joy. Joy is how I remember yesterday if I searched for some joy and found even a little.
It can be as simple as making your first cup of coffee. Watch the hot water hit the coffee grounds and turn them into coffee.
So, tell me, can you join me in a daily “search for joy” practice?
Let me know how it works for you in the comments below or email me at gregory@thepanicproject.com
THANKS.
And, remember to search for joy.
Gregory
Busy people do not have time to “self-reflect,” I often hear.
Getting perspective is only useful if it makes us (a) more effective; (b) helps us see ourselves and/or our goals more clearly; and (c) brings joy. These three things are components of what I would suggest equate to something being “useful.”
Most of us whose day starts at sunrise, like mine, it is true, there is not much time for all of our responsibilities.
What is “self-reflection”?
For me, it is getting a perspective of myself from some distance. When we are stressed, mired in something, struggling emotionally or even having a hard time seeing a way out in a work, relationship or even athletic situation (ie. martial arts), having someone who we trust, who is watching us, tell us what they see – ie mirroring – and suggest some openings, a trail, a path, a way thru, we can get to the otherwise. Self- reflecting is doing this practice for ourselves. It is not something we can always do immediately and in some situations, we cannot get the perspective. But is it an objectivity we can develop.
Recently I listened to the Tim Ferris Podcast featuring Krista Tippett and I challenge you – don’t you have ten (10) minutes a day for meaningful self-reflection?
Are you a natural at self-reflection?
Do you practice?
What are some ways that you get some perspective?
What did you learn when you go that perspective? Did you feel like you had a new tool that you could bring forward with you and apply in other situations?
Email me some of your tricks when it comes to your “self-reflection” practice.
In yoga today, I almost fell over when we moved into “triangle pose”, also known as trikonasana.
The point is, how we move into and out of things makes all of the difference to what happens once we arrive. After I almost fell, it took me a few breaths – or maybe I even held my breath – to recover and I then had some negative thoughts about how I should have paid more attention to what I was doing while I was doing it. There I said it: In order to achieve big goals, you MUST pay attention to what you are doing each step of the way. If you focus on the big goal and not on the little steps going towards your goal, you will never arrive.
Well, you may arrive. It is not fair for me to say you won’t arrive. You will simply arrive and spend the first while readjusting, reacting too, reverberating from what ever happened on your journey.
Does all of this sound too metaphysical to you? Let me bring it down to the level of say a Bar Exam.
As you may know, the Bar Exam has an essay day. I am coaching several folks who are studying now for the February 2017 Bar Exam and several have asked me: “Shouldn’t I just start memorizing as many rules that I can now?”
My answer is no.
My answer is: You should focus on writing out correct answers to every single correct answer you can find to any bar essay question. Get your mind used to writing out the correct answers, the very sample answers in the back of your bar exam booklet. That exercise of writing out say one hundred (100 = 2 per day for 50 days of study) is not really enough, but it will get you there. Then, your brain will already be adept at the small steps of writing out correct answers.
Each word in a Bar Exam question is a trigger word. What I mean is that each word allows you to tell the reader in your answer that you know your stuff and that they can move on. So by focusing on writing out correct answers, taken from the sample answer in the back of your exam prep course, you are focusing on the small steps needed to get thru the big goal.
Now go out there and write out your two correct answers for today.
Good luck.
I don’t know about you BUT when my SLEEP is INTERRUPTED I am in trouble.
- Science proves that mediation helps sleep and reduces anxiety.
- Meditation can be either focused meditation (on a word, on your breath); it can be body scan meditation or it can be TM.
- It is easy to learn and HIGHLY EFFECTIVE.
- THERE ARE NO SIDE EFFECTS. Unlike drugs or meds or booze.
I couldn’t believe they said SCIENCE now PROVES it!
I didn’t need science. I am on my sixth straight day of consecutive meditation using the CALM APP (https://www.calm.com/) which is FREE and have logged 88 total meditation sessions in 2016.
So, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR.
